Understanding Canine Etiquette: How to Behave so Your Dog Behaves

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If you’re searching for how to behave so your dog behaves, then just like me you may be realising that your behaviour might actually be part of the problem. In this post I’m going to speak about how I realised that certain behaviours are adding to the problem and also my top tips for how to behave so your dog behaves.

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Are You Struggling With Your Dogs Behaviour?

When you point a finger there are three fingers pointing back at you

Having a dog is great, but having an anxious and reactive dog can be difficult at times. Having to deal with dogs like this on a day to day basis along with the stresses of your day can cause frustration, and frustration causes more frustration.

Our behaviour plays a major role in our dogs behaviour just like the same relationship as parent and child. And for this reason we need to be present to our behaviour around our dogs, how we behave can actually cause anxiety, frustration, fear and other emotions in our dogs. However, we can also behave in such a way that can instil trust and confidence into our dogs and lead to better behaviour.

Pawsitive Enlightenment: How My Dog Taught Me to Change My Ways

Over the journey of being with Jasper, I realised he may not have been the dog I wanted but he really was the dog I needed. I can honestly say that in a weird way he was my enlightenment.

I got Jasper a little while after my mum passed away. I wanted a dog that I could go on adventures with, hang out with friends etc. In my opinion, the wrong reasons for getting a dog, because when reality snaps in and you realise you can’t live that life you start to feel resent.

I struggled for a long while with Jasper’s behaviour even after getting a training plan sorted. He was still reacting to dogs, ignoring commands, completely distracted…it was F***ING hard!

I went through a horrible period where we both lived in frustration and as I got more frustrated things weren’t working, his behaviour would get worse. We needed a hard reset!

So I made some changes, instead of focusing too much on his training, we focused on rebuilding our relationship, trust, bond and confidence.

Below discover 10 tips for how to behave so your dog behaves. These 10 things really helped me with Jasper, my anxious and reactive dog, and maybe one will be able to help you.

Behaviour in The Animal Kingdom

Before I continue let me talk about behaviour in the animal kingdom, and I’m not going to be saying be the alpha and dominate your dog but just very interesting observations.

#1 – Animals Don’t Follow Weak Leaders

Now when I say weak I don’t mean I’m strength but it is a question of character (yes it’s a hard pill to swallow). In the wild when you think of leaders you think of strength and you’ve got to be.

When I talk about strength with our dogs I mean confidence but also things like consistency, guidance, boundaries etc.

A lot of us are “weak” in the way that we let our dogs get away with small things that can snowball into an avalanche.

#2 – Parents are usually calm and provide effective guidance

Parents in the wild actually go through it don’t they?! Imagine having to hunt, navigate your environment, protect your children and teach your child too. It would be so stressful right?? So why don’t we see parents snapping at their children?

We’ve all seen the documentaries right? Big cats? There’s always one who hasn’t eaten in a few days and is sat under the baking sun and her cub is just pawing at her tail but the mother doesn’t care. It’s because they have more important things to worry about, because they need to show strength and confidence.

This is how we need to be, strong and calm and able to guide our dogs through situations safely and calmly.

#3 – Leaders lead

Leaders don’t go out of their way to choose fights most of the time. They will do what they need to do to protect their “pack” but leadership really is established by someone who leads the pack. This someone chooses where to eat, where to go, where to sleep….they lead the group.

We need to make sure that we can provide the right guidance to our dogs, we need to understand how to behave so our dogs behave.

My 10 Top Tips on How To Behave so Your Dog Behaves

#1 – Consistency Is Key

Firstly consistency is key with dogs. Consistency makes everything clear for our dogs.

For example if you’re fine allowing your dog to jump on you but then when you’re wearing nice clothes you don’t allow it, this can cause confusion to your dog.

Start small until your dog builds the skills you are looking to build.

#2 – Be Calmer

If you’re reading this post then there is a chance that your frustration could be a problem and causing even more issues.

One great tip for how to behave so your dog behaves is to behave calmer. Even when facing frustration you must show your strength and be calm and assertive in all situations.

If your dog is struggling to be calm in certain situations take a look into how you are behaving. If you act frantic and frustrated they will follow suit, it can also lead to an increase in anxious behaviours.

Be the calm guardian your dog needs to look to.

#3 – Don’t Repeat Yourself

Repeating yourself is a slippery slope. Repeating a command constantly can lead to the potentiality of your dog starting to understand that they need to hear a command multiple times.

You must have seen it, maybe in the park, that owner trying to get her dog to sit but it just won’t listen “sit, no sit, siiiiit”.

Teaching a simple technique such as leash pressure can be a game changer, you use the leash as extra communication to your dog to “help them out”.

#4 – Body Language and Confidence

Body language is a big factor of communication in the world of dogs and for this reason dogs can read us like books.

How many times do you think of moving from the sofa and your dog senses it just before you do it?

So if dogs can read us and our body language, isn’t it right when asking something of our dogs we use our body to help communicate this? When we are asking something of our dogs we need to speak at a reasonable volume, tone and with guidance if needed. If you seem timid especially in a situation where your dog gets overwhelmed then communication can go out the window.

#5 – Create Clear Communication

I believe as dog guardians, our goal should be to help our dogs as little as possible but as much as possible at the same time amd this is through communication.

There are numerous ways to create clear forms of communication, a simple one is to add hand signals to obedience commands. Adding hand signals to obedience commands allows your dog to hear an auditory command and then the signal can help your dog visually.

#6 – Create a Journal

Some of you might overlook this one but I found keeping a journal very useful is helping me be more present to walks with Jasper and how to improve them. After every walk I’d write how it went, any issues and problems and things I’d do differently, this helped me start improving our walks 1% every day.

#7 – Meditation

Following on the self care trend, meditation is another great tip that is overlooked. When dealing with frustration sometimes all we need is a second to breathe.

I took up meditation to help myself deal with the emotions that I’d feel on a daily basis trying to do simple tasks with Jasper.

I started short and built up to 30 minute sessions and over time I’d also find Jasper would sit with me on these sessions. It became a very calming experience and one we added to our daily routine.

#8 – Slow Down

I found this one very powerful but one thing I noticed is that with Jasper I’d walk him just to walk him, and if we got into a “situation” I’d rush the walk back home. When I took the time to slow down with Jasper everything changed.

Stay calm when walking your dog, relax your body and slow down. If you have the time stop for a couple of minutes, take in the surroundings with your dog, just let them be in that moment.

Taking the time to stop on your walks or even slow down can help your dog engage and connect with you even more.

#9 – Practice Makes Perfect

One thing I see a lot with reactive and anxious dogs is that when their owner notices a trigger that their dog hasn’t seen they’ll turn around but in doing so their dog will start to feel triggered. The simple reasoning behind this purely is that owners aren’t practicing outside of this situation.

Making sure that you practice essential obedience such as turns and stops outside of situations with triggers will help make them flow more smoothly in these situations.

Adding a bit of obedience on your walk will help build this up.

#10 – Show Your Dog Love

This may be the most important one on the list but don’t forget to show your dog love. Yes all the other stuff is important but don’t let your dogs behaviour affect your relationship.

Daily affection is essential for the wellbeing of dogs. Regardless of how the day has been or how the walk has gone make sure to give your dog a good bit of loving!

Final Thoughts

Hopefully this should give you an idea of how to behave so your dog behaves, these 10 tips are sure to help build a solid foundation of trust and calmness. What are your experiences with your dogs behaviour compared to yours? Have you noticed any correlations? Comment below 👇🏾

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